Carnival of Souls
by The Greycloak Wanderer
Summary: Songfic. This is much the same as Remembrance. It's from Cody's perspective, in an AU where war is constant. Also from same band, Saviour Machine. Best if you downloaded the song, Carnival of Souls


He sat upon the hill, resting against the tree silently watching as the camp below began to wake up with the rising dawn. Cody watched his allies begin their day. As he watched and waited for his love, he thought  
How many times had he wished that she would love him? How many times had that dream been cruelly destroyed? He knew exactly how many times. He could remember each and every one.  
  
Unto the gods I call your name,   
The crucifixion of my brain  
As I wait for you  
  
He was a cold, heartless killing machine. There was no doubt in his mind about that. The one he loved had to know that. He had to force himself to live from day-to-day without her. There was no place in his heart for mercy, or now even friendship. Why was there a place in his heart for her?  
  
Into the fields I've lost my way   
I've opened veins just for the day  
As I wait for you  
  
If only someone could give him the answers. Surely, Tai, or Jyou could, if they were alive. But they were not, and he had no one to go to. But were they dead? Sometimes he thought that they called for him. They called for him specifically. They said his name. They asked for him to come and join them. To join the dead.  
  
The thoughts that linger in my head  
They cry out for the dead as they wait for you  
Call my name, call my name  
  
  
  
Cody watched the people do their daily work. How naïve and simple some of them were. But there were many kinds of souls that wandered before him. Some even like him. He could simply look on their face, and he knew their soul. He knew those had been completely taken over by the hatred. Those who had wholeheartedly abandoned themselves to killing. And they were pleased. And he was pleased  
  
Into the carnival of souls  
Surrendered to the fight  
  
The ones like him were on a line. Stray either way meant death. To become reckless, and think that you were invincible meant death and insanity. To become softer and let others know your feelings meant you would lose your will to fight, and die because of that. They had to now accept their lifestyle. Their lifestyle of darkness, the love to kill, and the madness  
  
They dance upon the edge  
They dance upon the night  
  
Even if they did allow their feelings out, they did not know where to go. It had indeed happened that they found one day their darkness, as if it had come upon them immediately. The light was so far away for so many. Yet it was closer to Cody then most. But he would never walk toward it. Never walk toward the door that would lead him out.  
  
To wake up in the dark  
And find they've lost their way  
Their way back to the door  
Their way back to the light  
  
  
  
  
  
There were so many things he could do. Deception, trickery, manipulation, he indeed could perform. He had before, many times. Sometimes on the enemy, sometimes on his allies. It was so easy for him to see their mind, to see all their dreams and plans, as if he had opened a book. It was so easy for him to destroy those dreams, to destroy all their hope. Even her mind, he had opened and read through.  
  
I've opened doors  
I 've opened minds  
I've opened yours a thousand times   
As I wait for you  
  
He had been here from the beginning. He had fought from the beginning. It had tired him. Tired him beyond all reason, beyond all rest, beyond all help. It had wounded him. Wounded him too deeply, wounded him too often, wounded him to near death.  
  
I've fought the battle from the start  
I've opened sores inside my heart  
It bleeds without remorse  
  
Maybe the others could help. But he doubted it. Matt had to of gone through this. But he was too busy to help Cody. Those that had died, they went through this too, of that he was sure. Cody's sharp ears picked up his name being whispered. He turned to see who it was. No one was there, but that didn't matter. He recognized the voice. It was Tai. He was again calling to him. To join his friends in their sleep with no wounds, and no weariness.  
  
The thoughts that linger in my head  
They cry out for the dead  
As they wait for you  
Call my name, call my name  
  
  
  
  
He stood up and waded into the sea of faces. Some greeting him, others turning away from him. He smiled cynically, knowing their thoughts. Knowing each personality. Knowing their soul, by piercing their eyes with his own. The ones like Cody knew each other, and knew it was up to them that this war was won. They fought on. Each one was falling into insanity. Some faster then others, but they all were. Even Cody.  
  
Into the carnival of souls  
Surrendered to the fight  
They dance upon the edge  
They dance upon the night  
To wake up in the dark   
And find they've lost their way  
Their way back to the door  
Their way back to the light  
  
  
He finally saw her. Of course, she was with him.  
"Hey Cody, did you get a good sleep last night?" Kari asked.  
"Yes." He said and nodded, falling into step with Kari and the one she actually did love. "Now, let us go and fight."  
"Is that all you think about, Cody?"  
"Yes, it is." He answered and walked off. Kari watched him go. She saw his face, which never showed emotion of any kind. As every time she saw him, she wished she knew what he was thinking, what he was feeling. But Cody never let anyone see. She shrugged, assuming he was all right. He was in his own carnival, after all. 


End file.
